


Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville

by Lapislaz



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Humor, Jimmy Buffett, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-03 00:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapislaz/pseuds/Lapislaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Methos takes Mac to the ultimate party - a Jimmy Buffett concert</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville

"You have tickets to what?"

"The Jimmy Buffett concert. Paid a fortune for front row seats, but hey, the real fun's going to be out in the parking lot anyway."

"Who's Jimmy Buffett?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm not. Who's Jimmy Buffett?"

"The voice of a generation trying not to be forgotten, Mac." He frowned. "Ever hear a song on the radio called "Margaritaville"?"

"No."

"Cheeseburger in Paradise?"

"No."

"Come Monday?"

"No, no, and no. What kind of music does he do?"

"Hmmm - let's call it rock and roll mixed with reggae, folk, country, and jazz. Toss in Caribbean and you've about got it covered. Puts on a damn fine show - the kind you dance to all night and feel like an idiot for paying for a seat, because all you used it for was to set your drinks on."

"And you bought front-row seats to feel like an idiot?"

"No, I bought front-row seats to get a decent view of the band - the Reeferettes are quite delectable and worth seeing up close, believe me."

"Reeferettes? I thought we were talking about someone named Buffett?"

"The Reeferettes are Tina and Nadirah, his back-up singers. Part of The Coral Reefer Band - Jimmy's band."

"This sounds like it could get crowded. How many people are in this band, anyway?"

"Hmm, let's see ..." (mumbled counting) "... plus Utley that makes ... 14. More or less - depends on whether you count the dancers and occasional guest musicians."

"Oh, let's count them, it would be a shame to leave them out."

"Look Mac, if you don't want to go, then say so. But don't insult the music just because you don't recognize it."

"Sorry - somehow when you start getting enthused about music, I get all sarcastic. Possibly because the last concert you talked me into was full of barely grown children in black leather, ugly silver jewelry, and black and white makeup? Not to mention that the so-called music was actually a field of intensely unpleasant vibrations that could sterilize frogs at 200 yards!"

"Hey, I said I was sorry about that. Marilyn Manson is actually quite well thought of in some circles, however."

"'S all right, Methos. If I'd had my wits about me, I'd have left after I saw the first set of pierced black lips."

"Well, I can pretty much guarantee the Goths will be few and far between at a Buffett concert."

"Oh? What do Jimmy Buffett fans wear?"

"Mostly Hawaiian shirts, flip-flops, and shorts."

"Well, that certainly sounds harmless enough."

"Along with the occasional plastic shark, parrot, or grass skirt."

"Hmmm - well, compared to the Manson fans, that's still pretty tame."

"See! C'mon Mac - you'll love it. If you don't like the first song, we can leave."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"All right. Let's see, I think I have a Hawaiian shirt in here somewhere ..."

"There ya go, Mac - getting into the spirit adds to the experience. Now, where did those hideous sunglasses of yours go?"

* * *

"Methos, why are we here five hours before the concert starts?"

"Because the Parrotheads throw one helluva party, Mac - and the tailgate party is half the fun of a Jimmy Buffett concert."

"So I see."

"Hey, loosen up Mac - let's find someone with a blender and get started."

"Methos?"

"Yeah, Mac?"

"There's someone in a shark suit over there - dancing with a guy wearing a coconut bra and a grass skirt."

"Ah! Looks like that's where the fun is - grab that bottle of tequila and salt shaker, Mac, would ya?"

"Umm - sure. Methos?"

"What?"

"There's a guy with a TV crew out here."

"Oh sure - Jimmy's people come out here before the show and tape the fun. Then they show selected bits during one of Jimmy's songs - "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes". Makes a great video. Here - put on this hat and put this around your neck."

"The lei I can understand - but a baseball cap with a giant stuffed parrot on it?"

"Hey, do you wanna blend in or not?"

"All right." (Silence) "But you're going to pay for the beer tonight."

* * *

"Mac!"

"Whaaa?"

"C'mon Mac - the show is about to start!"

"Oh, good! Wouldn't want to miss the ... Methos, why're we here again?"

"To see a concert, Mac. Jimmy Buffett, remember?"

"Ah, yes! Jimmy Boofet! Sorry, my dear, I shouldn't have stood up like that - laps are for sitting on, not tossing beautiful young things out of."

"Mac, hurry! We have front row seats - I don't want to miss a thing!"

"All right, all right - keep your lei on. Excuse me, sweetheart - I have to go with my friend here. Oh, thank you - everyone needs their very own inflatable shark."

"Mac!"

"Coming, Methos!"

"And stop calling me that in public!"

* * *

"So, Mac, are we going home?"

"Hmm? No, I think I can stand this for a while."

"A while, huh? So, you like him?"

"He's quite tolerable. As are the margaritas from the concession stand. See if that vendor's around again, Methos - I want another."

"You'd better be thankful your liver is as immortal as the rest of you, MacLeod."

"Right. By the way, who did you say that lovely lady in the braids is?"

"Nadirah Shakoor."

"She reminds me of a slave I knew on this plantation in Virginia ..."

"Oops, no flashbacks here, please! Concentrate on the music, MacLeod!"

"Not hard to do - that song about the cheeseburger was fun! Ah - more margaritas! Great!!"

* * *

"I can't believe he sang that! At least, not in front of 20,000 people!"

""Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" is a classic, Mac!"

"Methos? What's a snuff queen?"

* * *

"I don't understand it!"

"Understand what, Mac?"

"Jimmy Buffett is not an immortal!"

"Well, some folks would argue that point, but I never said he was, Mac - what are you talking about?"

"Well, if he's not immortal, how did he survive being shot at by the Jamaican Swat Team?"

"Because the Jamaican Swat Team couldn't shoot their own shadows, much less a flying boat more than a hundred yards away."

"How do you know?"

"Believe me, Mac, something are better left - look, Mike Utley's wearing that plastic ass again!"

"Huh? Oh, gods - that's so dumb!"

"Here, Duncan. Have another margarita."

* * *

"Methos!"

"Huh? What, Mac?"

"He's staring at you!"

"Who is, Mac?"

"Jimmy whatisname - the guy we came to see!"

"Oh? Where..."

"Over there - waiting behind the curtain to do his encore."

"Ah, yes! Hi, Jimmy!"

"He's waving back! Do you know him, Methos?"

"Well, we have met - lotta years ago, though. When I was doing session work."

"Look he's talking to someone and pointing at you."

"Yes, he is. And if I'm not mistaken that person is coming around the back of the stage and coming over here."

"He is! Hey, Methos, you think we can get backstage? I'd really like to meet whatsisname."

"Hang on, Mac. We'll see. Yes?"

"Are you Bennie Adams?"

"Yes, that's me. And you are?"

"Mr. Buffett would be pleased if you could spare him a few minutes after the show, Mr. Adams."

"Mr. Buffett? That's Cousin Warren, son - now you tell Jimmy I'll be glad to talk when he's done."

"Thank you, Sir - if you could come this way?"

"Can I bring my friend?"

"Who ... oh, I don't know ..."

"C'mon Mac. Don't worry about it son - Duncan won't drool on Jimmy. I don't think."

"Methos!"

"Shut up, MacLeod! And in case you're too damn drunk to remember, the name is Bennie!"

"Uh, right."

"Lead on, son. I can handle him - if he gets outta line I can cut him down pretty quick."

* * *

"C'mon, Mac - the show's over! They've gotta tear down and get out of here."

"Shame they have to leave. Mr. Buffett is really quite personable once you get to know him."

"Mac, you are so drunk you can't hang onto grass and not fall off the earth. If another immortal challenged you right now, all you'd have to do is breathe on him and his head would fall of his shoulders just to get away from the fumes."

"Well, someone kept handing me margaritas. Dark-haired fellow, really good-looking, about your height and weight. I couldn't let them go to waste, now could I?"

"Never mind Mac - just come with me. That security guard was none to happy with you, and Jimmy was rather upset, too."

"Well they shouldn't leave things like that just lying around where people can fall over them."

"Never mind Mac. Good thing you're loaded, though - a full set of Jamaican pan drums cost a bundle."

"I do believe Mr Greenidge said he was going to replace those soon anyway ..."

"And if you believe that, I have some ocean-front property in Arizona for sale."

"Was there an earthquake in California, Methos?"

"Forget it Mac. Let's go home."

"Methos?"

"Yeah, Mac?"

"What would you say if I bought a waterbed?"

"I'd say why don't we get drunk and screw."

"But I'm already drunk, Methos."

"Great time-saver, that."


End file.
